Life, And Other Natural Disasters...

I suppose I have never really thought of anger as a positive emotion.  Until now.  It is driving me to keep going in my search for promotion; it's a sense of "I know damn well I can do the job - what am I not saying?"  And that's the frustrating thing.  Out of the three interviews I had, I am still waiting for feedback.  I might as well have spoken Swahili for all the good that came of the interviews.  So, until the anger runs out, I'm making the most of it.

It still affects me.  The tour of "Treasure Island" that Russ was due to be on was in Nottingham until yesterday.  I went to the theatre to pick up copies of the programme for madamemish and myself; there was a tribute, albeit brief, to Russ on the front page.  It brought a swell of emotion up through me and as I walked through the city, I saw Russ's haunts everywhere.  Not bad, for a city that he actually disliked living in for nigh on 20 years. 

But I'm still here and I try to move on; battered and bloodied that I still feel.  I still hurt from not being able to see all the people I'd like to in the US - with the world economy going to hell in a handcart, it becomes depressingly less likely.  I can't cut off completely; there's too much love out there to lose.  I just need someone closer to home - or some minor miracle.  Miracles don't happen, so the other option is the one I have to explore.  Right now, I feel very much aligned with the Doctor - a huge "family" out there but still alone...

There may be changes afoot; I'm trying for a number of opportunities at work which may mean I move again.  Or I may not.  It's in the lap of the gods and my pessimism indicates that I will continue at the same grade, living out of a room in the 'burbs for the foreseeable future.

Or I may not.  That's the joy of the future and the curse of the future.  Nobody knows.

So, to make sure that I do use up my vacation time for 2007/2008, I have booked off the last 2 weeks of November.  I have absoultely no idea what I am going to do with them as it is entirely in the lap of the Fates.  I might have money to pay the taxes/surchages to use some of my frequent flyer miles; knowing my luck though it is more than likely that I won't.  But I am damned if I am going to lose valuable vacation time!!!

On other news, my immediate boss has sponsored me to attend a "Meet The Boss" lunch.  I have a horrible feeling that it was a result of some vaguely cynical comment I made, but it is Free Food.  Just so long as The Boss doesn't ask me a crucial question while I have a mouthful of prawn vol-au-vent.

Okay, yesterday I had the drama of waiting for the Department for Work and Pensions to get back to me about my new job that I start next Monday.  Today, first I get a call from another job that I was interviewed for last week to be offered a 3 month contract as they were subject to a re-organisation.  Then, I get home to be offered an interview with my personal nemesis, the Driving Standards Agency(*) next Monday, the day I start the new job!  Added to that, I get an e-mail for another job interview next week.

Am I now starting to sweat interview pheromones???!!!

(*)Referred to as such due to their unwillingness to allow me a Car Drivers Licence

Well, I'm cat sitting over Christmas.  It doesn't look like I'm going to have a permanent job until the new year now, and even if I did I'm not sure I'd have the rail fare down to Crawley to take up karendunn's offer.  However, madamemish has offered the use of her manse over the festive season, on the understanding I feed Mad Frankie.  I'm sure I can drum up some turkey for him...

Dearly Beloved Aged Parent has been getting used to a new sensation lately; he's getting to know his cousins.  His last remaining aunt died a week or two ago; coincidentally, I had received a communication from one of his other cousins through Genes Reunited a month or so before that.  So, last week he went to the funeral and met three cousins he never knew he had.  Which, coming from a family where I know all of my cousins live and all of my uncles and aunts are still alive (it's just a mother I'm missing - grrr!) seems strange to me.

...etc., etc...
I now have three interviews and one test next week for various positions.  Although one of them I may have to cancel if I can't get there by public transport.  No more news from the other three I'm waiting on.  Which does not tend to bode well.

Crappy mood for about 50% of the morning at work today.  I'm not sure whether it had anything to do with the fact that I'd been chatting to Clifford on line first thing*, which had me thinking about what I don't have while I was walking into the city to catch the tram out to work.  I am currently pestering several agencies to get me a permanent position - one job I had high hopes of getting an interview for, I was turned down for because I "had too much experience for such a junior position".  Well, pardon me for breathing.  Surely the fact that I have been doing a menial (albeit temp) job for 6 months nearly should be some sort of indication that I'm prepared to put up with a basic clerical job.

What employers seem to be unaware of is that I can't get a job in the IT industry because of my lack of hardware experience; all of my software/language experience is in virtually extinct languages.  And it's been so long now since I used them that I would have difficulty getting back into that type of mindset.

So, I end up being frustrated which makes me even more determined to keep trying.  It's all I can do.  Doing nothing is not an option.


*we did not have an argument or anything; just my continual sense of loss.

Not been up to much lately, apart from coffee occasionally with madamemish and going around the local flea market with Nick looking for old video recording equipment to use for spares.  Work has been quiet this last week, what with the boss being off and I think we both coped.  Least ways, up until Friday night when we realised that Neil had to fax all the uncompleted orders to the standby team.  Could we just send them a memo?  Oh no, they won't accept that.   They will only accept a faxed copy of the individual job requests.  We got up to 20 pages before the fax broke.  So we told them tough... you'll have to have an e-mail.

But enough of this.  Last Tuesday I had a numeracy and literacy test with the Department of Work and Pensions for one of their Jobcentre staff positions.  I passed (not unsurprisingly in hindsight) and have an interview with them on Wednesday.  I also have an interview with IKANO (one of the IKEA family companies - runs the financial services division in the UK and owns Habitat) and with Nottingham Emergency Medical Services on Tuesday.  Hopefully, one of these will be fruitful, but I have also applied for a clerical job with bmi, the UK's second largest airline whose headquarters are based at EMA (East Midlands Airport) and is owned by SAS and Lufthansa.

So, fingers crossed...

So far, so good.  I have not yet received one of Mad Frankie's "Gifts" and have checked Michelle and Matt's bedroom just in case there is anything lurking.  I would hate to wake to manic screaming when they get back late Sunday.

In other news; two more sets of tests to attend next week - one half day of tests for an HEO job with the Driving Standards Agency on Tuesday and an hour on Thursday morning for a job with something called "The ISIS Project" which I can't remember applying for but still...

I am in a real foul mood this evening.  Came home to two more rejection letters - what the f*ck is wrong with my applications?  Surely 20 years reliable work must count for something, or am I just writing them in sanskrit and don't realise it?  Then, I broke one of my cellphones and had  to get a new one.  Fortunately, the clerk charged me half what he should have on account of me having a bad day.  So, I guess sometimes, a foul mood has its compensations...!