On Christmas...

[hantsbear]

I got the Stern Eyebrows down the telephone tonight. It came about as I was talking to Russ about Christmas, and how I was not looking forward to spending 3 days in the same hotel room as my father over the holiday. No exit route; no back-up plan; no personal space. As I have mooted on more than one occasion, I love my father to bits, and if he passed away I'd go to pieces. But in small doses. And I've seen more of him in the last 2 months than usual. I know he means well, but I don't think I'd be dreading this trip quite as much if I had my own room to retreat to as and when.

After last Christmas being a bit of a trial with the whole John thing going on and me slowly climbing the walls over the whole holiday; I'd like to spend a Christmas with someone special to me.

Maybe next year...

Comments

You are packing a Koala aren't you???

[rock-bear.livejournal.com]

YOU MUST PACK AT LEAST ONE KOALA!!!!! Guernsey is a very small island and they may not have time to arrange an airlift of longhaired, bearded, Australian biker/divers carrying small Koalas to you hotel in time for christmas.

Ways to occupy your time;

1 Eat

2 Send secret love notes from your father to the ugliest woman, sexiest man, friendly-ist dog

3 Wander off to the bathroom with the Penguin "Teach yourself Serbo-Croat" you purchased at the airport for emergencies

4 Pretend the whole journey is being scripted by Alan Bennet (with pauses by Harold Pinter)

5 Guernsey is a foreign country! eat local food, attract local wildlife, go to a local pub get your father locally drunk so you can sniff local fur!

6 Sleep!!!

7 Write an essay, "You father is an alien species - Discuss" minimum 5000 words in double lined spacing aligned with the right margin.

8 The trip with your father is a horror film: Make full list of costumes and props required, work out camera angles and cast the entire production with a cameo appearance from David Blunkett and his dog (in fishnets)You are NOT allowed to cast Julie Walters

9 Lock yourself in the bathroom and have a long luxurious wank

10 For Gods sake its only 48 hours just pretend its an inflight movie1

HUg HUG hug hug hug
Remember to defrost your freezer for visiting bears (G)

Re: You are packing a Koala aren't you???

[hantsbear.livejournal.com]

Pretend the whole journey is being scripted by Alan Bennett
This involves Peter Sallis, a tin bath, Thora Hird and a Stannah Stairlift, doesn't it??

Write an essay, "You father is an alien species - Discuss" minimum 5000 words in double lined spacing aligned with the right margin.
Been there; done that; got the Nobel Prize for literature...!!!

The trip with your father is a horror film: Make full list of costumes and props required, work out camera angles and cast the entire production with a cameo appearance from David Blunkett and his dog (in fishnets). You are NOT allowed to cast Julie Walters.
If I can't have Julie Walters, then at least let me have Anne Widdecombe or Edwina Currie...!!!

Re: You are packing a Koala aren't you???

[rock-bear.livejournal.com]

Ok you can have Peter Sallis inhabited by the spirit of Thora Hird

I didn't say you could write the essay in english - what do you think you are learning Serbo-Croat for

You are only allowed Edwina Currie if she is in drag as Peter - Oh my god what a strange thought - what are these pills? - does Boots cold and flu usually say "remove dead slugs after treatment" on it - GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hummmmm......

[elric-dewisant.livejournal.com]

Mayhaps, you could dress up like Silent Bob, and run away to star in the new Kevin Smith production of "Silent Bob & The Sacred Anchovy of St. Jennifer"?

That is, assuming that the sacred anchovy was spirited away from Ireland and accidentally dropped in a small tin on Sark. Banking restirictions MAY apply.

Re: Hummmmm......

[rock-bear.livejournal.com]

You know occasionally I find your brain a little worrying.......