Alone In A Crowded Room.

[hantsbear]

I went up to Manchester yesterday to go to Manbears' Prehibearnation.  Checked into my hotel and made my way over to the sauna.  Spent three hours wandering around trying to catch the eye of some men... not a grope, apart from bumping into an acquaintance from Leeds who was doing the rounds.  Moved on to the Outpost for a quick drink with friends then back to the hotel to change.  Then spent three hours wandering around Legends looking moody in a leather waistcoat (one I inherited from Russ).  Met up with people I knew, such as Ady (former msfg on livejournal) and others but despite eyecontact and growling, not a sniff.

It is entirely plausable that my technique requires a little work, but I'm beginning to wonder if I am actually looking in the right places?  I'm not sure that the man I am after spends a lot of time disco bunny-ing until 4 in the morning.  In the UK, there don't seem to be things like "bear coffee" evenings, where you can actually talk to people instead of having to shout while some over amplified techno damages your hearing.

So, in the UK, where is "the right place to look"...?

Comments

[verytiredmummy.livejournal.com]

If its any consolation trying to converse with drug fucked disco bunnies long since ceased to entertain me either. I'm thinking of becoming a crofters wife in the extreme highlands.

[verytiredmummy.livejournal.com]

Big events are shit for getting to know people anyway. People are running around like headless chickens looking for the next sex god to worship. Even if they chat to you, you can get put on 'hold' in case something better comes along. I've long since found smaller events better for getting to know people.

I also have to face my own prejudices about who I am attracted to. I've often found the 'pretty people' dull and self absorbed and others, who I don't instantly find attractive, deeper and more interesting to talk to.

You also have to push yourself. If the mountain ain't coming to Mohammed... bloody well find an excuse to go to the mountain. Standing in the corner pulling 'interested faces' mostly doesn't cut the mustard. If you get a negative response - don't beat yourself up - at least you won't spend the late evening moping about what could have been - if only you'd pushed harder.

[hantsbear.livejournal.com]

Hmmm... I confess I am not the most gregarious of people; when Russ was alive, he would make noises that I should talk to three people I had never spoken to before; also, I am starting to feel like "the only longhair in the village". Now, I am not going to cut my hair off, no matter what. I think I am looking in the wrong places; I know several "bears" who are not on the scene, so there must be more out there; it's a matter of finding out where.