Innafunk...

[hantsbear]

Feeling particularly craptacular right now.  An ongoing sense of loss, anger, depression all going back to when I was made redundant.  Sure, I wasn't happy in the job but I didn't see the end coming.  Okay, the payout cushioned the blow for a while but that is long gone.  I'm having to "make do".  Which is something I'm not used to and it doesn't come easily to me.  My wages barely cover my living expenses and a gratuity to each of my creditors all of whom engage in regular correspondence with me.  Or try to, in any case.  Fortunately, I have made damn sure none of them have a current phone number for me otherwise they'd be using that form of misery induction on me.  I'm seriously thinking of cancelling Christmas this year and just hiding in my room.  What have I got to celebrate?  (Yes, I know there are many things I should be thankful for, and am thankful for - just indulge me.)  I can't whip up the motivation to be sociable, partially because it costs money.  There are things I have allocated money to and paid for in advance, but they are few and far between.

Right now, I don't feel like I am living; I am just existing - I have no purpose.

Comments

[benpanced.livejournal.com]

I know how you're feeling, little koala. I'm in the same sort of funk, myself.

{{{{hugz}}}}