To Prune Or Not To Prune...

[hantsbear]

Dearly beloved aged parent has just rung.  He claims he's not nagging, but I'm afraid I don't see what else it could be.  He rang up to advise me that if I really want to get a decent job, I need to get my hair cut back to about shoulder length, because that's what most interviewers expect.  Sad fact of it is, part of me thinks he's right.  But part of me is offended that people judge on looks not ability.  I know rock_bear will tell me that this is poppycock, but I am convinced that there is a great deal of truth in this.  I need to talk to a few people in the business, and, fellow LiveJournallers, solicit your opinions!

Comments

Ponytail??

[phenryss.livejournal.com]

I don't know what type of job you are shooting for, but is a ponytail accptable as an alternative?? When you are not working you could untye it. Just a thought.

Hugs!

Re: Ponytail??

[hantsbear.livejournal.com]

That's my initial plan, and what I have always done at work in any case. Dearly Beloved Aged Parent thinks otherwise, but at the end of the day, it's my hair not his!

[darke.livejournal.com]

Yes, they will judge.

Should they? No. But they do. Just the world we live in. So you need to take that into account and make your choices from there.

And it isn't just hair. Heck, I know of someone (now gone) where I've worked that used to only want "fit" people to apply and would toss out resumes based *entirely* on looks. No fatties allowed in that club, I guess. :p

[winstonthriller.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately (and, illegally in this country) that's true. Looks count when interviewing. I've been in group interviews where others didn't want to hire a candidate because his suit looked old, or his beard was too scruffy or he "looked" like a smoker.

Once you get the job, it seems, you can do what you want with some lattitude.

Another reason I enjoy freelancing more than being a captive.

[fingertrouble.livejournal.com]

Same here - freelancing has that freedom, but it depends where and what industry you work, how unionised they are, etc etc.

I work in the graphic design/web industry and apart from the odd comment they don't care (I'm a temp anyway) and my partner John is an academic and wanders around in shorts and a t-shirt in most weathers, again not a problem.

It's a decision I found a had to make a bit like coming out - used to work in a corporate who told me to trim my beard and change my clothes - they used to be business casual then went suits again, hated my black jeans...I just didn't feel comfortable doing it. So I changed my career.

I'm sure if I conformed I'd get more work, more pay, more career (seem to have enough as it is, though) but I know I'd be unhappy as I couldn't be me. Sad how people trade that in for money or a job that just makes them feel worse? They seem to think it's a trivial thing but it's not - changing your identity for another is quite psychologically belittling, hence school uniforms, prison uniforms, etc. It's a control mechanism.

[dazzedelf.livejournal.com]

Any job that will not hire you because of your hair length is a job that ultimately you will not with to work for years down the road. I have long hair, and I'm doing government work, I refuse to work for a job that would discriminate for hair length as I have found that unless you are working food prep, hair generally doesn't cause a problem with most job functions.

[robearal.livejournal.com]

As much as it sickened me, I made the sacrifice and cut my hair. *sigh* This user pic was taken that day or the next.

[clarkelane.livejournal.com]

Not sure if this is helpful, but I'm feeling some of the same about my beard. I think longer hair is acceptable if you tie it in a bun at the base of your head.

Just my opinion, though...

LONG HAIR?

[darkphuque.livejournal.com]

How about ageism? Illegal, right? I am (just) 62 years old, well educated and traveled and have had over 20 interviews.... no availability. Jobs go to those under 30... unless you are highly specialized. If I were a computer wiz I would be working, I am sure. Or I could go back to school for 2 years and update my diploma, or I could win the Lottery... all have about the same chance. I survive in SF on net $22K/yr.

Re: LONG HAIR?

[hantsbear.livejournal.com]

You've just hit another insecurity of mine... in the IT industry, at 40 am I over the hill...???

[bigjohnsf.livejournal.com]

I find it interesting that your father said "shoulder-length" because surely if someone cared about the length of your hair that would be far too long -- it should't cover your ears or touch your collar.

In a perfect world people might not be judged on factors that aren't relevant to the job at hand, but that's just a fact of life. Even when they go well, job interviews are not a perfect process and interviewers are left largely to go with 'what their gut tells them' and other subjective observations.

I think first you should take a look around at the field where you will be focusing your job search and see how important this sort of appearance is. Is there room for a manager who will not be made self-conscious about the statement he is making to his customers/peers by having a 'hippy' on his team?

Generally, I would view it as a good way of weeding out the kind of people I don't want to work for.

Still, I would also definitely wear a pony tail, or even a pig tail. I would make certain that it is neatly trimmed, and all conditioned and shiny, and the beard, too. And, I know I'm not going to be popular for saying this, but I would think about going to a long-hair friendly stylist and talk about some natural-looking non-permanent hair colo(u)r. Cause if you think people are subjective about long hair, well, they're even worse about grey, only they're not going to even think of saying anything about that. And, one of the things about really short hair and a clean-shaven face is that it de-emphasizes grey. Then after a couple of months the dye will wash out and you'll be back to your natural self.

Fashion and grooming aren't about kowtowing to others, they are about understand how other people experience your outward appearance and using that knowledge to communicate who you are in a way that they can understand.

[songdogmi.livejournal.com]

You could use your long hair to weed out employers who you wouldn't be happy with -- echoing the earlier statement that one who doesn't like long hair will probably have other issues too. If you "have" to cut your hair to get a position with a firm, there's a chance that firm will *never* accept long hair when you want to grow it back.

Unfortunately there are a lot more of "them" (dislikers of long hair) than there are of us. Still... well, I'd think a ponytail should work out.

*fingers crossed for you*

The prune(ella) scales

[shaggycub.livejournal.com]

I've been there, and I'm pretty damned sure it's prevented me from getting work. Sadly, many people think, "It's only hair", in business and in love. On some levels, I guess there's some merit to this. But of course, it's not just hair, it's a time commitment-it's self expression, and in some cases, an expression of religion. I guess the problem is this. If one's got bitchin' skills in one's field and is in demand, one can almost (almost) dictate how he'll look (within reason.) In my case, I'm pretty much useless and don't have many more skills than a trained chimpanzee. I can do basic clerical work, but so can a bazillion others, and I'm no better or worse than they are. So when it comes down to jobs, I've generally been SOL. The only way I've managed to get the jobs I've had, is I've started as a temp, and they liked me so much, they didn't care about the hair and hired me despite it. Of course, I don't own property so I can afford to be a temp. ***sigh*** I guess it depends on how desperate you get, Fantine. The harsh realities of live and love are that there's little tolerance for non-conformity out there(I know I'd have a much easier time in business and in love not being overweight and having a long hair and beard.) So, perhaps you wouldn't want to work for someone who wouldn't hire a long hair anyway, well that's cold comfort when you're on the dole. If you can afford to be picky, then I say don't cut it. But if it comes down to your house or your hair, please choose the house. Like another respondent, I must say that I'm surprised that your father thought that shoulder length would be OK. I have shoulder length more or less and it's not OK-in for a penny in for a pound, long is long. If you have to cut it, you're most likely going to have to cut it very short, like above the ears and collar. Besides, once you have the job, I'm sure you can grow it back, as there aren't that many employers who'd literally fire a guy for long hair-not hire him yes, fire him, doubtful.

[rock-bear.livejournal.com]

OK so you asked livejournal anyway (not that I'm assuming you don't trust my opinion) ;-)

I just sort of have a feeling that if you try to conform to what you think of as "respectable" for a job interview then you are:

A - giving them a false view of the happy and sensitive fun loving koala that you are

and

B - losing site of the fact that the culture in offices is very different to the way it used to be

As I said I tend to judge people in responsible jobs far more by their manner of speech and behaviour than I do by their appearance.

No matter how cute and fuckable your father is he's not a stylist!

[sonoranbear.livejournal.com]

I know you're in England and I'm in Tucson, Arizona.. but it's the 21st Century man. Hairlength shouldn't and doesn't seem to be an issue with most employers with perhaps the exception of those chronically conservative businesses such as banking, law firms, and 'big business'.

Can you pull it back and keep the sides combed in neatly? I did that for years and often folks didn't even realize I had long hair (down to my waist) until I turned my head.

[hantsbear.livejournal.com]

Eh, to be honest, I am inclined to tie it back in a neat ponytail. Mainly so that if I get a job this way I can give Dear Beloved Aged Parent the "Nya-Nya-Nya". But that would be childish. Wouldn't it?

[benpanced.livejournal.com]

Of course, it would be childish.

But sooooooooo much fun!

[msfg.livejournal.com]

Don't do it! No job is worth giving up a part of who you are for. And your commitment hair is ace :o)