Not one of my better days...
Nov. 7th, 2002 05:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Once again, the voice inside wins. A program that I've been working on that's due to go live tomorrow failed testing. And of course I start mentally beating myself to a pulp, telling myself that I'm a crap programmer; why haven't I been sacked yet; why can't I learn from my mistakes etc. etc.
All this despite the fact that Carole and (name deleted) are telling me otherwise, but no, I have to go and get upset. I know what the problem is. I'm angry with myself. I feel that, despite the fact that it is impossible, I should be perfect; I should be so careless after 12 years in this profession.
But I never chose this profession. As I have said before, I fell into this line of work. And I can't afford to give it up.
All this despite the fact that Carole and (name deleted) are telling me otherwise, but no, I have to go and get upset. I know what the problem is. I'm angry with myself. I feel that, despite the fact that it is impossible, I should be perfect; I should be so careless after 12 years in this profession.
But I never chose this profession. As I have said before, I fell into this line of work. And I can't afford to give it up.