Bitter Suite

[hantsbear]

Three years ago, I was in Tucson - I think it was a Thursday; various parties were being organised to local restaurants for the early arrivers at Fiesta de los Osos.  It must have been about 6pm - I had gone back to my hotel room for whatever reason and  I checked my computer and found a message from madamemish to contact her as soon as possible.  The transatlantic phone call that followed started something like this:-

"Mish?"
"He's gone." (sob)
"What?  Who...?"
"Russ.  He's dead."  There was a pause.  Then I howled.

The circumstances have been documented elsewhere, but at that moment in time I felt disconnected; hit by the full force of the distance between here and there.  There was only one thing I could do under that circumstance; I rang my father.  I needed the familiar.

I must have been in my room quite a while; when I re-emerged, I remember the first person to see me was shelbycub .  I'm not sure whether I just hugged him or blurted out what had happened.

Fast forward three years; it still hurts.  Which is good in it's own way.  Have asked Steve to take me to the grave the weekend after next.  I'll be a mess, but I think I need to be a mess.

Comments

[fargonrob.livejournal.com]

*HUGS* I remember you that day, and I never know what to say.

[furr-a-bruin.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

It still hurts here too.

I'd entertained fantasies of managing to coax him to the Badger Flat motorcycle run some year - that would almost certainly have been truly massive fun. *sigh*

[maxauburn.livejournal.com]

*ULTRA-HUGS*... I know, it totally sucks to lose a good friend.

[fogbear.livejournal.com]

Big big hugs, sweetie....

Hugs

[phenryss.livejournal.com]

Remembering anniversaries like that is always hard. Think of the good and keep that spirit alive in your heart...

Huge Hugs!

[danthered.livejournal.com]

Sigh. I don't know that it gets better. It gets different and less disruptive. Thinking warm thoughts your way. *Hug*

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

I'll be thinking of you and remembering Russ.

[ogam.livejournal.com]

*sits down quietly with you and keeps you company*

[pink-halen.livejournal.com]

We all lost a friend that day. I remember it well. I remember the sadness.

[broduke2000.livejournal.com]

I think those of us who remember him all need a collective hug.

If you feel like it, take some pix. I never saw his grave. I hope it has lots of furry teddy bears surrounding it.


*HUGS*