Under Rug Swept

[hantsbear]

Okay, I need to get this written down somewhere.  Somewhere I can (hopefully) refer back to.

1.   I really need to lose all the bitterness that has been accumulating within me over the last 2 years.  It's toxic and doing me no good at all.
2.   I need to look forwards not backwards.
3.   That said, I need something to look forward to.
4.   Pessimism about the future is eating into me.
5.   That said, I need proof that there is some good in my future.  An impossible demand, I know.

Comments

[tigerbeard.livejournal.com]

It may not work for you but it got me through my last depressive episode. Try a mix of the following

1 - Sheer spite.
Refuse, point blank, to be bitter just to spite your depression. It works for me since I tend to see mine as an external entity

2 - Vicarious living.
Force yourself to be happy about someones good fortune. It sounds stupid but its good practice for thinking more positively.

3 - Go outside
Personally I find being outside helps. Don't know why.

Good luck

[fargonrob.livejournal.com]

Good in the future, that would help with a lot of the rest of it, no?

I can't read the future and let you know any more than you can. What I can tell you about the future is that it is largely what you make of it.

This is where planning and goal setting come in. Reasonable, small goals. May do you good to find a life coach or therapist that can help identify the goals though the mess of emotions that are keeping you from seeing that path. Sometimes that outside objective source can be very helpful.

*HUGS*

[fingertrouble.livejournal.com]

Sadly you never will probably have proof except in yourself; and if it's external proof be very wary of it because leaning on it can be readying for a fall.

You need to invent/create something to look forward to - even if it's the chocolate tart in the fridge at the end of the day as I sometimes do. Sad but true...

I second going outside, doing something unusual, break that rut. That helps for me...

[vulcmoto.livejournal.com]

We get one shot at life. Bitterness, anger, and all of those negative things rob us of our time. Each minute spent unhappy is a minute we steal from ourselves.

Even the weakest man can carry the heaviest grudge. And the only person carrying the weight of it is you. The person or persons to whom you’re bitter feel no burden.

Forgiveness isn’t easy, but it is necessary. Whether you are having trouble forgiving yourself or another, you need to let that bitterness go. When you do, you feel a lot better.

I know. I’ve been there.

Yes, look ahead. Life is what we make it. That’s why there are unhappy people who have everything and happy people who have nothing. It’s all what we make it. Hope, love, and optimism are renewable resources with no limit.

There is much to which we can look forward. But…the future we each have is what we make it. You need to begin to focus on the positive.

I’m going to share a short story…

I went through a terrible relationship breakup in 2004. I thought life sucked. I was a wreck in many ways.

I survived a suicide attempt. Even then, I didn’t see anything positive in my life. I honestly felt like I was such a screw-up that I couldn’t even pull off killing myself!

Then one day, I’m driving home. It must have been 105 degrees outside that day. I see a man walking down a street, obviously coming home from a local convenience store, as he was carrying a plastic bag with some stuff in it. The man had one arm. He had no car, which is why he was walking in 105 degree weather.

Feeling sorry for him, I decided I’d see if he wanted a ride. I pulled over and talked to him. He declined the ride, saying that while it was hot, at least it wasn’t bitter cold and icy, making it easy to walk. He beamed with laughter and had a smile the size of Texas. He had a car, but it wasn’t running and he didn’t have the money to fix it. But he didn’t care. It was a short walk to the bus stop on work days. And exercise is always good.

He thanked me for the offer, but said he didn’t mind walking, so he declined. I drove away. I got home and just sat in amazement, thinking how selfish and foolish I was. Here I am, able-bodied. I have all of my limbs. I have a nice car with air conditioning. A nice place to live. So…why was I so down? So bitter at life, thinking I’d been dealt the shitty cards?

It made me understand that I am quite fortunate. I was just looking at my life the wrong way. I'm still very much a realist, and will never be an optimist - you know, one that always sees the bright side and expects the best. But - if you focus on the positive, and keep the negative thoughts away, you invite positive into your world. And it will show to others. That's my philosophy. I am 45 years old, and I simply don't have any time for negative thoughts or actions anymore. I wish I had realized this years ago.