Maelstrom.

This last few days has left me tired and emotionally raw. Looking at a picture; holding a teddy bear; listening to certain CDs - all have the capacity right now to reduce me to tears.

I knew it would be difficult Monday morning when every so often my eyes would mist over and I'd have to bury my head in the pillow.

"Your face is hot and sweaty this morning."

"Mmmumph." Trying not to wimper. Trying to sound non-committal and failing miserably.

Spending the day trying not to look at each other unless either one of us should break down.

And the airport - gack - the sight of a figure retreating into the distance, and knowing that you won't see them for six months.

Still, I took the first of several positive steps today. And, no, I'm not going to say what it is.

Yet.

I've been so far from here
Far from your warm arms
It's good to feel you again
It's been a long long time.