Grrr...! Part Trois...

[hantsbear]

Well, I was going to write a post today about how bouncy I am about getting ready to head up to the airport tomorrow for my journey to Tucson for Fiesta.  However, having had a phone call from rock_bear  earlier saying what a throughly miserable night he had last night in the Fountain in Birmingham, with hardly anybody talking to him apart from snide comments behind his back, and this post on bill_bill 's journal (click here) left me feeling a little angry.  Sigh.  I know there won't be any of that in Tucson, because, well, this is the third year I've been there and I have been made to feel nothing but welcome.  But sometimes, it just pisses me off how the gay community moans and kvetches about not being accepted into mainstream society, and then has the gall to be sniffy about someone who wants to be himself; to the extent that he is cold shouldered, or in the case of Lang, gets abuse e-mailed to him by some out and out cretin.  It exists in the bear community too; a month or two when there was a meeting of bears at the Old Vic in Portsmouth, one of them looked at me and said "Nope, too much hair!"  I said nothing, but inside I was seething.  Sometimes I would give anything for a quick and devastatingly witty remark.

Anyway, now I've got that off my chest, I am going to resume previous bounciness.

Comments

[rock-bear.livejournal.com]

I am relying on the men in Tucson to put the spring back in your bounce, - and any of you who have seen the Magic Roundabout will know exactly where to put the spring!


Yep I'm just pissed off with people generally, when did it become socially acceptable to walk up to a complete stranger who you don't fancy and say "god you're ugly, have you thought of suicide?" now whilst I can sort of vaguely understand that this might be something that teenagers might do when they are out in groups as a way of impressing each other, it does seem rather odd to do it when they are by themselves, (and to go to the trouble of emailing people to tell them is just strange) I just find myself astounded and puzzled by peoples rudeness generally, there are lots of people I find physically repellant but surely the simple thing to do is look away?

Last night I had the joy of hearing "christ look at that, whats it doing here" "they shouldn't let the homeless in here" "watch out the freak fancies you" and the best one, to a member of barstaff who had been talking to me "if you're going to let people like that in we'll go somewhere else".

Now I know I'm slightly paranoid sometimes but this was very obvious, maybe they presumed men with longhair and beards are deaf?

[denbear.livejournal.com]

Unbelievable rudeness! Maybe the barstaff was hoping they would leave! :) I wonder if they were drunk or if sober, either way, they just didn't have an excuss for their bad behavior... No matter! I am sure someone could say bad, judgmenal things about them without knowing them as people too. Wouldn't worry about it though, so many other guys find you very, very attractive and wouldn't give those creeps a second or first look besides! They'll get their karma, I am sure, when people around them see and hear how snippy they are and they retreat into their own little clique of lonely judgmental creeps. So sad for them!

[(Anonymous)]

I've always liked "your rudeness is beneath you", buy YMMV.

If the offender is a teenaged girl, I've had some success with "why don't you rejoin your mom, who you think loves you?" That almost put one in tears.

[benpanced.livejournal.com]

I don't get it, either. There just seems to be too many rules of non-acceptance in no matter which social niche I place myself.

[songdogmi.livejournal.com]

This topic is also going around -- with completely different yet equally infuriating examples -- in BrosOnline, which I'm reading on the website these days (despite my instincts).

I haven't encountered much in the way of this sort of negative comment recently. But then I don't do much in the gay community either. It's been months since I've been to a bar, I rarely go to bookstores, and I mostly hang out in straight-but-friendly coffeehouses. I guess I'm not giving mainstream gayfolk the chance to reject me openly. Hearing about it does bother me a lot though. Shouldn't they be beyond this sort of thing?

People are people, but sadly, some guys can be really lame...

[denbear.livejournal.com]

I wonder how these guys would feel if (or more like when) someone says something as evil about them and their looks/attitude, etc. Whatever, some guys are just total jerks or crazy. If someone dislikes someone because of what they look like before they get to know him, then that's their loss! I've had my hair and beard very long (all the way to ZZ Top length a couple of times in the 1990s) and short (http://hometown.aol.com/denbear2002/), some people like it one way or another, but who cares? My parents never really liked me bearded or long haired... "Why do you want to look like Jesus?" I was once asked...!! Um, why would that be so bad?!? *heh* Maybe the Renaissance white-washed edition, but I'm clearly not middle-Eastern enough (or black enough, dunno...). I once had a friend that made fun of one of my other friends on the basis of my other friend being too fat (I was rather fat at the time, but my other friend was fatter by far). This newer friend said really lame things about my other friend, who is one of my best friends (and he knew that we were good friends too!!). Because of stupid things like that and the fact that he lied a lot, I stopped hanging out with that guy (who at the time was in need of loosing some weight himself!). Whatever, I like the look guys with long hair or short, or big or short beards or any combination of those. If I see someone who I don't find attractive, I'm not going to insult them. That's so lame. I guess these guys who do that and even spend the time to write such hatemails must have too few friends and a lot of free time on their hands. Ignore them.

[beastbriskett.livejournal.com]

Catty bitches are only trying to cover up their own self-loathing by putting someone else down.

[furr-a-bruin.livejournal.com]

I think an appropriate reaction to "Nope, too much hair!" would be "Better that than too little brain!"

[beastbriskett.livejournal.com]

another comeback:
Obviously your mum got to you.