Entry tags:
- blah,
- catharsis,
- insecurity,
- job,
- life stinks,
- love,
- melancholia,
- russ,
- sigh,
- tea
Cycles of Life and Death...
It still affects me. The tour of "Treasure Island" that Russ was due to be on was in Nottingham until yesterday. I went to the theatre to pick up copies of the programme for ![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
madamemish and myself; there was a tribute, albeit brief, to Russ on the front page. It brought a swell of emotion up through me and as I walked through the city, I saw Russ's haunts everywhere. Not bad, for a city that he actually disliked living in for nigh on 20 years.
But I'm still here and I try to move on; battered and bloodied that I still feel. I still hurt from not being able to see all the people I'd like to in the US - with the world economy going to hell in a handcart, it becomes depressingly less likely. I can't cut off completely; there's too much love out there to lose. I just need someone closer to home - or some minor miracle. Miracles don't happen, so the other option is the one I have to explore. Right now, I feel very much aligned with the Doctor - a huge "family" out there but still alone...
There may be changes afoot; I'm trying for a number of opportunities at work which may mean I move again. Or I may not. It's in the lap of the gods and my pessimism indicates that I will continue at the same grade, living out of a room in the 'burbs for the foreseeable future.
Or I may not. That's the joy of the future and the curse of the future. Nobody knows.
madamemish and myself; there was a tribute, albeit brief, to Russ on the front page. It brought a swell of emotion up through me and as I walked through the city, I saw Russ's haunts everywhere. Not bad, for a city that he actually disliked living in for nigh on 20 years. But I'm still here and I try to move on; battered and bloodied that I still feel. I still hurt from not being able to see all the people I'd like to in the US - with the world economy going to hell in a handcart, it becomes depressingly less likely. I can't cut off completely; there's too much love out there to lose. I just need someone closer to home - or some minor miracle. Miracles don't happen, so the other option is the one I have to explore. Right now, I feel very much aligned with the Doctor - a huge "family" out there but still alone...
There may be changes afoot; I'm trying for a number of opportunities at work which may mean I move again. Or I may not. It's in the lap of the gods and my pessimism indicates that I will continue at the same grade, living out of a room in the 'burbs for the foreseeable future.
Or I may not. That's the joy of the future and the curse of the future. Nobody knows.