hantsbear: (Life)
hantsbear ([personal profile] hantsbear) wrote2006-10-04 09:01 am

Kvetch Of The Day...

This is bloody ridiculous.  I have only been unemployed for a month or so and yet I can see nothing positive in my work future.  Sure, I am applying for jobs, but there are people with more qualifications, more experience, live nearer the job than I do.  I have not had one interview.  And I can hear people out there saying "So what, I have been unemployed for x years..."   All I can see is humiliation.  If I start applying for lower paid jobs, I will have to sell the house, put a whole lot of stuff into store and basically go back to living in some sort of bed-sit or shared accomodation.  That is, if I can actually get a lower paid job.  I feel I could get hoist by my own petard : "Too much experience; too highly qualified".  Which means I could be forced to the ultimate humiliation.  Returning to live with my father and basically lose any control of my life.  I will basically have to give him power of attorney to run my life as he sees fit, because, quite frankly, if I get to that stage, I will have lost all self respect.  I will feel totally incompetent, lacking in any confidence, stupid, ignorant, incapable - my abject failure will be complete.

And yet people do their damndest to persuade me to be positive - bless 'em - but it's like throwing seeds onto stony ground.  Anything that tries to grow, withers and dies.  I am filled with so much negativity about myself, that anything positive that does happen to me gets swamped, diluted and ultimately eliminated.   There must be a better alternative.  I've tried pills; I've tried therapy.  Am I that hopeless a case???

P.S. Anybody know any decent suppliers of sack-cloth and ashes?

[identity profile] pink-halen.livejournal.com 2006-10-04 03:10 pm (UTC)(link)
And yet people do their damndest to persuade me to be positive - bless 'em

Being positive is important. Whether you know it or not, you are projecting negativity. It is something people read. I don't know how.

Remember we love you.

Now get that begging sign made. We have a spot reserved for you on the high street.

[identity profile] hantsbear.livejournal.com 2006-10-04 07:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Whether you know it or not, you are projecting negativity

Therein, at the moment, lies the problem. Despite all the good vibes and wishes and love that people bestow upon me, I still can't seem to cross that void from negative to positive.

Yet...