hantsbear: (Life)
I always find bequests bittersweet.  On the one hand, the financial aspect is appreciated, but it comes with a heavy finality that the person is no longer with us, and all the money in the world will not bring them back.  Even if you tried...
hantsbear: (Land of the Free...?)
I am at a loss.  I just don't get it.  And I certainly want 2016 to be over.  What has happened to the UK and the US?  I certainly don't understand my own country any more and as for trying to understand our larger neighbour to the west, which I thought I was starting to...

The Trump talks of reconcilliation, whilst appointing a whole stream of right wing nutjobs into seemingly powerful positions, and pouting and posturing when someone has the audacity to call his running mate on his ultra white christian, gay hating beliefs.  I thought it was done with love and respect but the perma-tanned ferret thinks otherwise.

I hear conflicting stories as to what the new administration can/can't to to the hard fought LGBT* rights brought in by President Obama.  Could the USA even go as far as some Middle Eastern countries and introduce a gay test at the borders?  Yes, it sounds ridiculous but frankly, I wouldn't put it past someone like Mike Pence.

I just don't know what to think any more.
hantsbear: (perkele)
I am disappointed in 17,410,742 of my fellow countrymen.  They favoured economic suicide "because we've managed before, we've managed again".  Forgetting that 40 years have passed and the world is a completely different place.  Forgetting that unity is strength.  Thinking "ooh there's too many of Johnny Foreigner in our country" only to be told post vote that the Leave campaigners have no solution to the immigration crisis.  Both major political parties are falling to pieces at a time when we need to be decisive.  And I'm stuck here with a nay-sayer who still thinks, despite everything, we will be better off out of the EU.

Seriously considering running away to Sweden and hiding in my sister's sommarhuset.  In any case, am watching developments in Scotland very closely.
hantsbear: (all glory to the hypnotoad)
...the first word I heard on my radio this morning was "re-elected"!
hantsbear: (AAAARGH!)
I've taken the plunge again.  After nigh on 6 years of abstenence, I have taken tentative steps to get behind the wheel of a car and learn to drive again.  Had my first lesson on Friday evening - sh*t scared!  Don't know why; maybe it's the amount of time since my last lesson when I was living in Gosport.  Still not sure whether I'm going to gel with my new instructor but I've got another lesson Thursday night for an hour.

Have got to do a theory and hazard perception test now which I didn't have to do in the past because I already hold a full motorcycle licence, but this now counts for naught... oh well.  So, here we go again...
hantsbear: (Pauline)
So, started working at my permanent office in Coalville today.  Second set of fond farewells in 6 months yesterday - a surprise gift coupon and both the managers of the office thanking me for my help.  Which all helps build up the old self confidence levels, but I still feel like the new kid today.  Trying to suss people out and figure out what procedures are different in the new office.  And building myself up to the days when I start walking to and from work.  Which started earlier than expected when the bus didn't turn up and I had to walk home.  No biggie usually but I didn't have my walking shoes on today.  Oh well...

But one of my colleagues did have a particularly cute blue-eyed long haired bear today, so the day had a particular high spot ;)
hantsbear: (Default)
... until I start in my new office.  Still feel like there is tons to pack and willpower (and my spine) is playing up... it'll get done somehow; it usually does.  Got 3 days off at the end of the month to sort the move out; getting quotes sorted out.  And planning a trip to Sweden in May to see little sis...
hantsbear: (low flying koala)
So, the move is pretty much on.  Don't have a date yet, but have been in conversation with people and the plan is for me to work on detachment from my new office for about two months in a place called Hinckley.  Then, hopefully around the end of April, I will transfer back to my new office in Coalville.  Which is about 30 minutes walk from where my new home will be...

It begins...
hantsbear: (Feel My Koala-y Wrath!)
What is going on???  At about 3.15pm, the boss comes into the tearoom and says that the office will be closing at 4pm.  Then he asks to speak to me separately - apparently, Tipton Police Station has been set alight and he sent me home there and then to make sure I could get there before anything happened to the public transport.

Managed to get a bus ok but, what the hell is happening to this country????
hantsbear: (Seriously Pi**ed Off...)
Most of the time, I kvetch that I do not seem able to pass my driving test.
Some days, though, perhaps the population should be thankful that I am not behind the wheel, as I can be the most impatient pedestrian in existence.  Cussing the volume of traffic; speed or otherwise of vehicles and some drivers inability to use an indicator.  So, if I were let loose behind the wheel...

Probably best not to think about it.
hantsbear: (Will Talk For Food...)
...and the answer seems to be an overwhelming "Erm..."  The Conservatives have the most seats, but not enough for a majority.  Labour could possibly form a coalition with the Liberal Democrats, but the Liberal Democrats don't want anything to do with Gordon Brown, the current PM.  And the Green party finally got their first MP.

At the moment, the Liberal Democrats are talking to the Conservative party, which makes for uncomfortable bedfellows, since the Conservative party is against reforming the voting system and intend making radical cuts to the national budget, not spending on public services.

And we all know how much I love the Conservative party...  hah!


Nov. 13th, 2009 06:54 am
hantsbear: (Hug)
Please think healing thoughts for a speedy recovery today for [livejournal.com profile] beastbriskett .

hantsbear: (Will Talk For Food...)
Sat down and watched this movie again after 5 years or so.  Sniffled a bit.  Maybe it's the mood I'm in at the moment - have been clearing space in the apartment ready for next month when I get everything out of storage.  Maybe there will be more tears then when I find more remnants of a past life.  Maybe not.  We shall see.
hantsbear: (happy pills)
...mentally speaking, that is.
Having come off the Venlafaxine with the help of my GP, having come to an un-easy truce with the events of the last three years or so, having discovered new strengths within me, progress has definitely been made.

Despite going to the GP last week to sort out my sleep problem, namely the vivid and weird dreams I've been getting, which I have started getting again and getting a prescription for sleeping pills, I have found that after a few days, the pills get less and less effective and the dreams are coming back.  I will most likely try and ring the medical center for an appointment to discuss the next course of action.

I went to Birmingham Pride on Saturday and made some very useful connections; I discovered that there are gay mens groups in both Dudley and Wolverhampton - the Dudley group meets monthly and the next meeting is while I am at The Summer Good Food Show on June 13th.  The Wolverhampton group meets weekly on a Monday night (except Bank Holidays, which is why I am not going to head over there tonight.

So, progress.  Still stuff to do though...
hantsbear: (I want to speak to my agent...)
I have had it with this week.  Icing of the cake was packing up to leave, with a customer sat watching me on the sofa opposite.  I ask her who she is waiting for.  She points at me.  I check my list - as far as I was aware, she was due an hour earlier.  But she is adamant that she was told now.  So, I end up leaving in a foul mood twenty minutes late.  And it's pissing down with rain.

And I get home to a big brown envelope telling me that I had passed the online testing for promotion to the next grade and I have an interview and a presentation to go to on the 26th.

Irony is, I don't think I'm ready for promotion now.  I don't think I will cope at all well in the next grade, so my gut reaction is to say "thanks, but no thanks..."
hantsbear: (Lesbian Jam???!!!)
The other day, the new boss (Mandy) caught me on the hop.  She made a comment along the lines of hoping I would bring a little sophistication to the office because I sounded posh.

"Posh???"  I looked up with horror and my voice went up at least two octaves.  "Posh???!!!"

I'm not really that cut glass am I???
hantsbear: (Seriously Pi**ed Off...)
I suppose my greatest worry out of today's elections and votes is that Proposition 8 will pass in California.  If it does, what next?  If California, one of the most gay friendly states in the union is frightened into submission by the bigots, what hope for the rest of America?  Would it mean that all the bigots have to do is open their check books and scare the populace into their vision of utopia of them and us?

And the thing that really makes me mad about all these so-called caring churches pouring millions of money into passing this venomous, hate-filled legislation is just that.  The pouring of millions of dollars into a vendetta against a percentage of society - millions of dollars that could have been spent doing some good!  Millions of dollars that are not being spent on feeding the starving.  Or finding a cure for AIDS or cancer.

No.  Far better to spend dollars on denying rights.  Much more righteous.

I'm hoping to wake up tomorrow morning to something better.  Something that my friends in California have been working for.  A little thing I like to call fairness.

And hopefully the beginning of something more...
hantsbear: (Default)
An unexpected side effect of my accident 6 weeks or so ago was the curing of a long standing fear of mine.  I have had, for more years than I care to think of, a morbid fear of general anesthesia.  Up until 6 weeks ago, I had never had one.  Indeed, over my 42 years or so on this planet, I had developed quite a nice little phobia.  First, many years ago, I heard too many tails of people either not waking up or suffering permanent brain damage after being filled with Carbon Dioxide instead of Oxygen upon waking when someone got the pipes confused.

I spent many years researching statistics and managed to convince myself that these accidents were quite rare and, by and large, most regular procedures took place without incident.  Fine.  Then I find out about a case where someone with a fear of anesthesia is induced and dies of a heart attack whilst induction was taking place.  Great.

Imagine, therefore, my horror when the registrar in the emergency room told me that because of the fracture on my humerus, they would have to re-position my dislocated shoulder under general anesthesia.  Very calmly I explained to him my fear; naturally, he told me not to worry as I would be able to have a chat with my anesthetist prior to the procedure.  I am wheeled up to the ward and shortly afterwards, I am introduced to my anesthetist, a cheerful lass who virtually assuaged my fears and went through everything with me.  So, when I was wheeled to the theatre suite and into the anesthesia room, I was quite calm.  She positioned an Oxygen mask over my face then inserted a syringe in the veniform in my arm.

"100... 99... 98... ..."

I awoke in the recovery room after what felt like moments and I swear the first thing I said was "Well, that was wierd..." in a very David Tennant-esque manner.

So, now I have to find something else to be afraid of.  Any ideas...?
hantsbear: (grrrr...)
Much as I cannot vote in the US Presidential Election, I still have an opinion; mainly because American foreign policy has such an impact on the world and on a smaller, more personal, level, the USA is one of the few first world countries not to permit same-sex civil partnerships. Because God says so.

And my opinion is this:  Sarah Palin scares the cr@p out of me.  She represents the God wielding; family obsessed; opinion blinkered fanatic that appear to have a lot of power within the Republican party.  And if in power has the potential to create a new low in American gay rights.  Because God says so.  Now, I am all for families but the family is but one aspect of society.  The couples; the single people...  There appears to be an obsession that if you are not married with kids, then there is something un-American about you.

Or is that something that I have percieved from the media?  Let's get on to specifics.  The story of how she tried to get rid of the librarian in the city of Wasilla because she didn't agree with Palin's desire for censorship.  Speaks volumes to me.

Of course, any opinion expressed is that of someone who does not live in the US (but might quite like to) and still naieve regarding American politics.  So, please take with a liberal dose of Sodium Chloride!
hantsbear: (Don't F*ck With Me!)
Have sorted out a solicitor this morning; now all I have to do is wait for the sale to collapse from underneath me.  Hell, why should this go smoothly?  Very little else so far has...


hantsbear: (Default)

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