hantsbear: (perkele)
Three years ago, I was in Tucson - I think it was a Thursday; various parties were being organised to local restaurants for the early arrivers at Fiesta de los Osos.  It must have been about 6pm - I had gone back to my hotel room for whatever reason and  I checked my computer and found a message from [livejournal.com profile] madamemish to contact her as soon as possible.  The transatlantic phone call that followed started something like this:-

"He's gone." (sob)
"What?  Who...?"
"Russ.  He's dead."  There was a pause.  Then I howled.

The circumstances have been documented elsewhere, but at that moment in time I felt disconnected; hit by the full force of the distance between here and there.  There was only one thing I could do under that circumstance; I rang my father.  I needed the familiar.

I must have been in my room quite a while; when I re-emerged, I remember the first person to see me was [livejournal.com profile] shelbycub .  I'm not sure whether I just hugged him or blurted out what had happened.

Fast forward three years; it still hurts.  Which is good in it's own way.  Have asked Steve to take me to the grave the weekend after next.  I'll be a mess, but I think I need to be a mess.
hantsbear: (Will Talk For Food...)
Pie is baked.
Pie is eaten.
Pie will come again.
hantsbear: (Life)
A friend has stated to me that I am preventing my own happiness and that I am determined to be miserable whatever the cost.  I am not sure that I agree 100% with that second statement, for this reason: I am a lot happier working for the Department for Work and Pensions than I was working for EDS, especially the last 6 months.  For one thing, I do not suffer from continual stress.  Sure, there are stressful occasions but not the constant pressure of supervising effectively the human equivalent of a battery farm.  Yes, the boss can be an irritating sod at times with some of his quirks but all in all he is, for the most part, considerate and human.

I think the first statement is aimed at my desire for a relationship of some sort.  Sure, I don't expect it to happen over night, but it was commented on a visit to The Fountain in Birmingham (the local bear bar) that I avoid eye contact with people who are interested in me.  Or am completely oblivious of them.  Compare two situations : Fiesta de los Osos - I don't seem to have a problem with eye contact or talking to people, and people talking to me.  Or is there something I'm not aware of?  The last Manbears event I went to - I was virtually ignored all evening, despite trying to make eye contact with people.

Oh well, I am due to meet a guy on Sunday afternoon, so we shall see what happens...
hantsbear: (I'm so cuddly...)
Seven months and I'm still here.
Looks like I'm settling then...
In truth, I have had a good offer from my landlord to take a tenancy on the whole of this apartment, which means that we need to sort our between himself and myself what is to stay and what is to go.  Most of the back bedroom is being boxed up and shipped out along with the store closet outside the apartment.  Just need to go through the other rooms and sort out what furniture (and other stuff) can stay and what needs to go.  Then, on September 21st., I go back down to Portsmouth to supervise the emptying of my two storage rooms.  The next day, everything arrives here in the West Midlands.

The process then begins to sort through my stuff that I haven't seen for 2 1/2 years.  Some of it will need to go to goodwill; some will get sold on e-bay.  Yes, I could have done that 2 1/2 years ago, but then I didn't know my stuff was going into storage for as long as it was.  After that, plans.  I have been promising to go and see my sister in Sweden, near Gothenburg.   My computer won't let me paste in the correct name for the city for some reason.  Then Christmas.  After that, I might be able to make Tucson and Fiesta 2010, but it depends on raising cash - the number of Delta Skymiles seems to vary depending on whether I leave the UK on a Delta or a former NWA flight.  Which probably means that once the merger is complete, the number of miles needed will increase to the Delta rate, and I will be short by 1000 or so miles.  We shall see...

hantsbear: (that's mister cranky koala to you)
For 2 reasons:-

1. It is a year since [livejournal.com profile] rock_bear  died.

2. I should be in Tucson.

hantsbear: (passport)
In The UK - it has to be the Rhins of Galloway.  When I was a lot younger - we're talking around 30 years ago, folks - we took our annual holiday in this area; initially, we rented a static caravan at a little site where the caravan was just yards away from the beach.  When the local council implemented new regulations regarding facilities, the owners got rid of all of the static caravans and we found a cottage that suited us nicely.  I'm not sure whether I appreciated it when I was younger, but as time wore on, I appreciated the simplicity and peace of the local village, Drummore.  Every so-often I go back even if just for a few days seclusion.

In France - I went on an exchange program between my high school and one in a town called Sully-sur-Loire ([profile] ogambear knows).  I actually ended up about 10km south in the village of Cerdon du Loiret.  It was rural French heaven.  Boules in the town square, a bar, a bakers, a patisserie, a bookshop, a pharmacy and a grocer.  I think that was about it.  It was my first introduction to France and I loved it.

Rest of Europe - Truth be told, I expected to fall in love with Stockholm and I was not disappointed.  Every season reveals a different side to the city, whether it be the leaves of fall, the calm waters of summer or the frozen harbor of winter.  The medieval old town (Gamla Stan) I could wander round for ages as well as the Skansen open air museum with its buildings from all over the country.  And its bears.  And the long summer nights when there is live music all over the city and ABBA songs keep slipping into your head...

In the USA - There are several places that I have fond memories, whether it be my first ever excursion over the pond to Boston or the long haul west to Portland OR or San Francisco.  But Tucson has the happiest memories and possibly some more bitter sweet.  Whether it is the people more than anything, or waking up and looking out the window at huge mountains in the distance.  Or maybe the way the roads seem to go on forever.  I don't know, but I will be back there some day.  I just don't know when.

To be continued some day...
hantsbear: (Will Talk For Food...)
I find American diners evocative.  Whether it be Gunther Toody's in Denver, the small railway car diner in Cambridge MA or The Broadway Cafe, just around the corner (well, sort-of) from La Casa de los Osos Locos and one time home of Mr. Paul Brown's ([personal profile] bigredpaul) Pie Ceremony.  I suppose it's seeing too many movies and TV programmes that feature diners.  They just seem to represent a part of The Great American Idyll...

Last night, while I was with the bears at a diner on 4th. Ave, I placed my order and Kevin ([profile] sonoranbear) commented that I ordered like a pro.

"Yeh," I replied, "I've seen the movies..."
hantsbear: (anime hantsbear)
Not much to report; just been pottering around with [profile] sonoranbear and Steve (BrobearAZ); being generally lazy and having dinner with [profile] vmbear and [profile] cub4bigbears.  So, I'm happy...
hantsbear: (Value Tardis)
It seemed like a good idea at the time.  Get my bearings by remembering the streets I took to get onto Broadway.  So, my brain remembers the route; 17th Ave, Bryant, Broadway.  And confidently I wend my merry way to the Broadway Cafe for coffee and sustenance.  Then wander up and down Broadway to look in Target and see if I can find a [profile] wyndwyck.  Alas, not a squeak.  So, I headed back, and thinking I could get back onto Irving from Alvernon... except for one minor but potentially significant detail.  I forgot the house number.  So, I tramped back to Bryant and re-traced my steps back to 17th.  and ultimately La Casa de los Osos Locos.

Still, all that walking was good for my legs, I'm sure...
hantsbear: (low flying koala)
Remind me that spending 8 hours in a 757 is Not A Good Idea.  Apart from that, arrived seamlessly on time, baggage intact.
hantsbear: (low flying koala)
12th. January

CO21 - Depart Manchester 0900 Arrive Newark Liberty 1210
CO23 - Depart Newark Liberty 1330 Arrive Houston Intercontinental 1630
CO1538 - Depart Houston Intercontinental 1800 Arrive Tucson 1950
hantsbear: (Hug)
Note - this is not intended as a morbid piece!!!

There were so many people I wanted to hug and say goodbye to yesterday, and I think I only achieved a fraction.  SInce I am concerned that this will be my last Fiesta for a while (it may not be, but as always I hope for the best, plan for the worst) this leaves me feeling a little sad.  So, if I didn't say it to you yesterday, consider yourself hugged and wished the best.
hantsbear: (Hug)
And so another Fiesta ends.  It all went by so quickly; not helped by being incapacitated on Saturday.  [profile] wyndwyck dropped by last night; unfortunately, I was still flagging so it was but a short visit alas :(.  This morning was breakfast and goodbyes, with the thought in the back of my mind that this could be my last Fiesta for a while.  Which is a shame, as I always feel most welcome by the Tucsonites, particularly [profile] sonoranbear and Steve.  Okay, so it was a little nippy this year, but I've just arrived back in Denver to below freezing temperatures.  Went over to the Sushi Garden with [personal profile] albadger, then  to the airport for the trip back to Denver.  By happy coincidence, [personal profile] darke and [personal profile] jaybear were also waiting for their flights to Dallas, so passed the time and coffee with them.

Flight to Denver reasonably smooth and trouble free - Frontier Airlines highly recommended. 

And I will be back to Fiesta.  It's just a matter of when.
hantsbear: (that's mister cranky koala to you)
Spent part of Friday afternoon with [personal profile] bitterlawngnome having some photos taken - I think he's posted one already.  Then pizza and headed out for ice cream with [personal profile] albadger.  Saturday morning, went to Waffle House for breakfast then to the Pima Air and Space Museum.  Unfortunately, the SR-71 was being re-located into a hanger, so I couldn't get a shot stood underneath it.  Then headed off to Bookmans for general wandering and admiring local furry critters.  I was feeling decidedly under the weather, so we stopped by Target to pick up some cold meds.  Spent the rest of Saturday feeling lousy, especially since I had to cancel the Rocky Horror trip - although after last year I suspect there was little enthusiasm to spend a couple of hours in the company of young homophobes in the making.
hantsbear: (3D Me!)
So many old friends.  So many new friends.  So many friends I haven't seen in a long time.  And by that, I mean two years, not one!   Arrived yesterday after stopping in New Mexico overnight in a proper American Motel, with a "Sanitsed For Your Protection" strip over the toilet seat.  And, yes, on the way down, we did take that left turn at Albuquerque.  Reception at the Clarion gave me the fright of my life when he told me that there was no reservation for me.  He thought there was a room for me and I gave him my ID.  Then he realised he'd spelt my name wrong... grr...  So, I staggered into my room and awaited the arrival of [personal profile] albadger who was sharing with me.

Spent yesterday afternoon in the hot tub with [profile] vmbear, amongst others, then headed off to El Charro Cafe, spending time with [personal profile] darke, [personal profile] jaybear and [profile] lostncove.

Other mentions in dispatches so far :[personal profile] bear_with_me, [profile] bigjohnsf, [profile] blithwulf, [personal profile] bigredpaul, [personal profile] bitterlawngnome, [profile] bonkishnurtaz,
[personal profile] daddytodd[personal profile] danthered[profile] darkphuque[personal profile] ednixon[profile] fargonrob[personal profile] garebear[personal profile] pink_halen[profile] quirkypandacub[personal profile] shelbycub[profile] singerbear...

And welcome back [profile] joelbear1 *HUG*


Jan. 11th, 2007 02:37 pm
hantsbear: (Cute Little Bloke)
[personal profile] pink_halen Ron and myself arrived safely in Tucson.  More when I've finished nibbling on bears.
hantsbear: (3D Me!)
So, I made my demo CD today; an interesting experience - the scripts that I found easy to rehearse took longer than the harder ones...!  Oh well, once it's all edited, I should have it by the time I get back home from Fiesta...
hantsbear: (Cute Little Space Cadet!)




hantsbear: (anime hantsbear)
I had a call today from a company I had sent my CV to for a Helpdesk Manager post over in Southampton.  Okay, it's 30 miles or so away, but I would still have to move.  However, they want to interview me next Thursday.  Wahoo!  After 4 months, my first interview!!!

That, and next Friday I go up to London to make a Voice-over CD Demo.  Thence Denver and Tucson...
hantsbear: (Bear in a hat)
 ...for Kevin ([profile] sonoranbear)!

Happy Birthday!("") ("")


hantsbear: (Default)

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