hantsbear: (In The Park)

Noel first met Lucy when he was 12, she would have been 13 and they were both at school.  They both lived in a market town in Staffordshire on the edge of Cannock Chase.  It was another 3 years, when Noel was 16 and went to pump air into the local church organ, that he met Lucy again.  She was the church organist.  He asked her to take a walk along the canal with him but, initially, she declined.  Her parents were strict and always wanted her home by a certain time.  Eventually, she agreed but she told her parents that she was visiting neighbours.  As they walked along the canal, a man greeted Lucy as they walked and after they passed, Lucy confided in Noel that she thought she would be in trouble, as he was the neighbour she was supposed to have been visiting.  Later, when Noel and Lucy were officially "an item" (or what ever you would call it in 1930's Britain), the neighbours wife commented on the couple.  The husband mentioned that he had seen them along the canal some months previously.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"You would have gone straight round and told her parents!"
They married in 1942 and had five children - David, Christine (my mother), Elizabeth, Noel and Philip.  From them came eight grandchildren and ten great grandchildren.
Last year, one evening Lucy said to Noel "I have always loved you."  They had been married for 73 years.  Lucy died last August and Noel passed just over a week ago.
And a chapter of our family's lives closed.  More chapters will be written.
hantsbear: (that's mister cranky koala to you)
Found out yesterday my Grandmother was rushed into hospital on Saturday with an infection.  Fortunately, I've got the day off today so I'm off to Cannock to visit this afternoon.  Apparently she also had a fall last night whilst going to the toilet, which is another worry.  Any thoughts, prayers etc. gratefully received...

Addendum: Visited this afternoon; she's out of bed, if a little frail, and wanting to go home!  Gramps is very patiently telling her she needs to wait until she gets the OK from the doctor...
hantsbear: (God Jul!)
To quickly re-cap - Edinburgh trip went well; visited koalas; made a new friend completely by accident.  Which was nice.  Work goes on as always; the usual mix of clients from the ones who just sit and say nothing to the vociferous ones who over run by ten minutes...!

And now to the holidays - Spending Xmess in Crawley with [livejournal.com profile] karendunn and family and friends.  Dearly Beloved Aged Parent is not too far away in the depths of East Sussex with his sister and long term partner.  New Year sees me heading to the Valleys and also to Cardiff to see the old one out/new one in...

Secret Santa present from work?  A book of food porn by Gordon "F*cking" Ramsey.  I will probably never cook any of the recipes in it but I will admire the unadulterated food porn within.
hantsbear: (Svenskan koala)

Göteborg, Canal.

hantsbear: (Svenskan bjorn)

Five minutes up the road from my sister's house...
hantsbear: (3D Me!)
Visit from Dearly Beloved Aged Parent passed ok - didn't really do much apart from drive around a little.  Had a meal out in one of the local Balti restaurants (when in the Midlands...)  And made a, rather fine if I say so myself, Shepherd's Pie...

hantsbear: (passport)
1999 was a peculiarly landmark year in my life.  Two big events and other bits of drama.

1.  I finally left the closet.
2.  My mother died.

The other drama - My dad's 60th birthday, at which few knew what my mother was going through, including my sister and myself.  The arrival of my first niece.  Having to cut off two supposed friends for being unable to let me grieve.  And my first boyfriend.

In some ways, I am hoping 2009 not to be so dramatic.  Although some drama "in a good way" would be nice...
hantsbear: (Default)
So, after a quick visit to the Grandparents on Saturday, a mad dash 200 miles or so due north to visit one of my aunts and have an interview with another part of the Department for Work and Pensions - I think it went ok, but I'm never the best judge of these things...

Anyway, while I was out of cell signal range on the train, I received a voicemail.  When I checked back, it was someone from the Jobcentre in Wolverhampton asking me to ring them back.  So, hopefully some movement...

Watch this space.
hantsbear: (Young Hantsbear)
For once, in the last 3 weeks, I have had a relatively productive day.  It started with a notification from Genes Reunited, the site I use to develop my family tree, stating that I had a significant number of matches with someone I knew to be a distant relative, up a couple of generations, right a bit and down a few generations.  That sort of thing.  Anyway, I requested access to her tree and lo and behold, I could fill in a whole host of gaps on my father's side of the family.  That, and also managing to send off for some documents to answer a few questions which could fill a few more holes.

On top of that, spoke to Dearly Beloved Aged Parent and got some details of some cousins he'd recently got back in touch with.

Well, it kept me out of mischief...
hantsbear: (Default)

Went to visit my grandparents yesterday; now that I can actually get to them by bus rather than train.  Okay, so it requires 4 buses, but that's not the point.  The point is that I can do it.  I also had a little help getting there as Nick was heading over to Rugeley that morning anyway, so I got a lift all the way virtually.  Sat in their sitting room, I had a whole wave of nostalgia wave over me; on the sideboard, the largest picture was of my mom.  However, life goes on and my grandparents are happily thriving; muttering about their aches and pains, but still very much here.  And aquiring an ever greater legion of great-grandchildren it would seem, with at least two more on the way from my cousins.
hantsbear: (South Park)
Well, I'm cat sitting over Christmas.  It doesn't look like I'm going to have a permanent job until the new year now, and even if I did I'm not sure I'd have the rail fare down to Crawley to take up [profile] karendunn's offer.  However, [profile] madamemish has offered the use of her manse over the festive season, on the understanding I feed Mad Frankie.  I'm sure I can drum up some turkey for him...

Dearly Beloved Aged Parent has been getting used to a new sensation lately; he's getting to know his cousins.  His last remaining aunt died a week or two ago; coincidentally, I had received a communication from one of his other cousins through Genes Reunited a month or so before that.  So, last week he went to the funeral and met three cousins he never knew he had.  Which, coming from a family where I know all of my cousins live and all of my uncles and aunts are still alive (it's just a mother I'm missing - grrr!) seems strange to me.
hantsbear: (that's mister cranky koala to you)
Henry Frederick Brittain
Margaret Jane Brittain nee Roberts
Shaun Lyndon Young
Christine Gladys Mary Brittain nee Mitchell

Still missed...
hantsbear: (Cute Little Bloke)
The one thing I must never lose sight of is the number of people who love me.
hantsbear: (Mountain koala)
So, here I am again in Bradford-on-Avon, visiting Dear Beloved Aged Parent. Conversation turns to talking about anger, and losing control. Very calmly, the conversation turned to me expressing a few things to Dad about his temper, and the effect it has had on me. I think it surprised him; fortunately this whole process is happening without either of us losing our tempers - which was always something I feared would happen; the scenario being me and him having a blazing row, and me coming out with "And another thing...!"

I am hoping this will work as part of my healing process.
hantsbear: (Gamla Stan)

Was looking at the photos in the lounge earlier today and thought I would put a quick guided tour to the immediate relics sorry, relatives... Clicky clicky... )

hantsbear: (happy pills)

40 years ago. Eccleshall, Staffordshire: Deep within the uterus of Christine Brittain, the result of  a chance meeting between two gametes some three months previous was happily indulging in mitosis; producing something that was starting to look vaguely human...

30 years ago. Bradford-on-Avon, Wiltshire:  Second year at Christchurch Junior.  At this point, Narnia was still an entertaining book and not an euphemism for being in the closet.  Not much to report here.

20 years ago. Bradford-on-Avon, Wiltshire: Finishing re-sit year of poorly chosen A levels at Trowbridge College (Chemistry, Mathematics, Biology), because Dear Beloved Aged Parent wanted his easily swayed son to go to Unversity, or at the very least, Polytechnic.  The fact that the previous year I had completely failed all three subjects was irrelevant; clearly I had to suffer for another year to fulfull Dear Beloved Aged Parent's dream.  (Readers may note a certain amount of bitterness issues here!)

10 years ago. Bicester, Oxfordshire: Five months into living in my first home; working for a boss who was slowly driving to me to my first serious bout of depression (as noted in hindsight) but surviving for pasta and Star Trek :TNG on a Wednesday evening...

5 years ago. Gosport, Hampshire: Out of the closet a year; in a relationship for 8 months; just  got over first trip to the USA and planning three more that year.  Moved to another section at work where I actually felt valued for a change...

hantsbear: (Mothra)

Well, here I am again.

Birmingham, to be precise.  [livejournal.com profile] rock_bear is currently doing whatever it is with wolves crotches that seems to pay him money at the moment, so I am at a Loose End.  Sat in the Virgin Megastore, people watching and absolutely gagging for a decent chocolate milkshake.  Tomorrow, whilst Russ works, I am taking a trip out of the city to visit my grandparents in Rugeley.  It may well be that I will drop the "bombshell" while I'm there.  Somehow I feel the need to at least let them know - they may already suspect; they're not that daft, after all.  Much as I think Dear Beloved Aged Parent/Dear Darling Little Sister possibly thinks they didn't need to know, I do not want to go through what I went through last August again.

And why cant you get the film "Scandal" on DVD in this country???


Aug. 8th, 2004 09:07 pm
hantsbear: (that's mister cranky koala to you)
I realised in the bathroom this morning why I don't visit my sister that often. If I am not avoiding my niece who would rather not be in the same county as me, there is the somewhat grudging tolerance of me by my brother-in-law. That, and the entire sensation of being alone at the wedding yesterday (and nobody seemingly giving a damn) have left me feeling not a little depressed the last couple of days.

hantsbear: (that's mister cranky koala to you)

I know my sister and my father mean well, and their advice not to bring Russ ([livejournal.com profile] rock_bear ) along to my cousin's wedding is based on the premise that being as very few members of my mother's family know that I am gay.  And that my quite dramatic outing could cast a shadow over what is, in truth, the special day of the Bride and Groom.  My friend Jean confirmed as much last night - I rang her as an independent counsel, if you like.

I feel a very emotional little koala right now.

hantsbear: (that's mister cranky koala to you)

Today is not a good day.  It didn't help I spent half of the night with my head hovering near the toilet.  So, I phoned into work sick and lay listening to Radio 4 for most of the morning.  Felt well enough for some soup at lunchtime.

Spent the afternoon feeling quite miserable.  I don't know whether it was the lack of sleep, or the conversation with my sister on the phone last night where she expressed the opinion that I should not bring [livejournal.com profile] rock_bear to my cousin's wedding next month.  As usual, she made me feel quite inadequate.  It's a knack of hers.   Or maybe I was making myself feel inadequate.  I just don't know.  All I know is I spent the afternoon feeling a little tear-y and listening to Agnetha  Fältskog albums.

I'm not sure whether it may even have been caused by the realisation that (name deleted) is leaving work and moving to East Anglia at the end of the month.  I started feeling very alone.

Maybe it is time to see the doctor for some good old antidepressants... 


hantsbear: (Default)

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